Gambit

So, I found a talent that Gambit possessed early in his infancy. Through very little prompting from me, he would play fetch. He's taken with this little plush ball that has feathers coming out of the top. He'll carry that ball around in his mouth like it's a live catch and he's hunting for his family. He'll growl and hiss at Rouge if she is even in his eye line, let alone making a move towards his precious.

He has since chewed all the feathers off that ball so that now all that's left are a few tufts of what used to be feathers, but now resemble a few strands of dark troll hair. But he still loves that dumb ball all the same.

Last night we played fetch for about an hour. I would alternate throwing it into the office or into the dining room from my perch in the Captains chair. And he would sprint off to find it and recapture his prize. He would then prance back over to me and drop the ball close to my feet and wait for his next opportunity to fetch. At one point I threw it over his head, and he popped up and caught the damn thing in his mouth.

I say all this to dissuade all those cat haters out there that characterize them as cold and callus to humans and are only concerned with their own feelings. They like to play with us. They care if we are around.

I had this post ready to go last night, but held off on posting it. I figured I would spruce it up in the morning and then post it. The first interaction I had with Rouge was her jumping on my chest and cutting one of the stinkiest farts I have smelled out of her. And shortly after that Gambit was chasing the previously mentioned ball around the living room and unplugged the cable box. As you all know, that is a big no-no. He's been exiled to the dining room. But I did throw his ball in there for him before shutting him out of my life for a bit. Stupid cats. Just when you think they are learning, they show you that they don't give a fuck what you think.

House

Occasionally I find movies that I want to watch based on their descriptions through netflix. Either they were suggested to me because of some rating I gave to a different movie, or the same actors appear or whatever. So I read the little paragraph description about the movie and see if it peaks my interest. I of course always forget that these little descriptions are written by someone that was paid to say nice and interesting things about the movie.

That leads us to House. What was presented to me as a horror movie about a serial killer that lures people to his "house" and then leaves them rules about how to survive his game, I was mildly intrigued. It isn't material that hasn't been covered before, but it sets the stage for an entertaining premise. Throw in the fact that the serial killer, known as the Tin Man because he leaves his rules written on a tin can for the people to find, was to be played by Michael Madsen. That dude can play a creepy, psychopathic killer. So I figured this is going to be awesome.

The beginning plays out like many other horror movies before it. Couple is traveling to some destination. They are bickering and generally don't get along. There is mention of going to couples counselling. This all sets up their story that they will not get along in a high pressure environment well. They quickly run into one of the most used horror movie problems, car trouble, and make their way to seek shelter and find a phone in a secluded bed and breakfast. So far I'm with the movie.

They get to the old Victorian mansion and find that there is a second couple that also had car trouble investigating the house. They find no sign of any workers or other people at the house, and continue to explore. There are some creepy creeks and groans of the spooky house, and some quick cuts of a child laughing and giggling in the dark. Again, nothing new here, but it was setting a mood quite effectively. Still with it.

Shortly there after the house owners show up and are creepy as hell. The old woman that runs the place is very creepy. She has one son who becomes fixated with one of the women and wants to marry her right away. He gave off the creepy inbred retarded vibe, again not new in horror movies, but was done effectively. There's a second brother who's introduced who is gruff and evil. All three of these new characters were really starting to creep me out, and I had high hopes for what was to come, because I knew I was still waiting for The Tin Man to show up, and I thought there was going to be some awesome stuff coming.

But oh how wrong I was. I started noticing some oddly placed lines in the script. Instead of talking about how sleeping together was dirty, it was referred to as a sin. There were multiple instances of the word sin, as in "guilty as sin, heavy as sin, sinners, etc..." I started to get a bad feeling in my head. This couldn't possibly be some kind of christian propaganda movie thinly veiled in a horror movie could it? Michael Madsen will save the day, I just know it.

Of course I was wrong.

The rest of the film, until the very end, you just see The Tin Man in shadows stalking people around with a stupid mask on. The four people that were lead to the house are all revealed to have some horrible secret. The one couple both killed someone that was abusing them, and the second couple didn't pay attention to their daughter and she ended up drowning. These flashbacks are done to give you the impression of the abuse, but not really show it. BUT, the people feel bad about killing their abusers. Because it was a SIN.

The movie held so much promise for about 30 minutes, then delved fully into some dumb ass christian allegory for the next hour, culminating in them finding the "good" sister who was shunned in the basement. Her good "light" will destroy all the evil in the house, but only if they believed in her and rejected what the "evil" Tin Man was saying. What started out as just a mild christian indoctrination became such a farce that one could not help but draw the conclusions they wanted you to make. Granted anyone watching this movie that knew it was based in Christian Theology would already be "saved" and not need to watch the movie, and any gore hound like myself is going to watch it thinking awesome shit is about to go down, and then just groan and hate everything about the movie. Way to go asshats.

I will say one thing. The first thirty minutes are awesome. If you take that and then added on another hour of what should have come, and this movie would have rocked. It was shot well though. Visually it looked good. Though that's seldom enough to make a movie worth watching.

Why God, Why???

P.S. And for those wondering, this was movie 98 for the year. I'm going to have to buckle down if I'm going to hit my goal of 120. Wish me luck.

I AM RIPPER! I AM DISAPPOINTING! I AM BEOWULF

So they took the oldest story in England's history.  They changed it and they they made it really disappointing. Sure this movie may be good in theater.  But this movie certainly is a let down on DVD.  Over all on the KCBS scale its a 4.

Just read the damn book. 

Blogger Q's Thanksgiving Gossip

So like all good celeb reporters I went to great pains to learn what your favorite celebs ate at Thanksgiving

Brad P. (of film fame) ate an entire turducken!  After this he had no digestive trouble at all due to his super human metabolism that allows him to travel at super speed.  Also he was seen removing a costume of some sort from a ring.

The J. Brothers (of music and film fame) had the traditional family meal of Turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and asparagus cooked so its not firm.  However they used no spices, salts or flavors because "We like our food like we like our music, lame, dry, flavorless and kinda limp."  They followed the meal with naps all except the youngest who was returned to the cage for asking mommy where the money was going.

Dame Judy D (of film fame)  ate 23 pounds of astronaut ice cream but not for Thanksgiving cause you know she's British.  

Lou "Diamond" P. (of T.V. fame) spent all this Thanksgiving doing what he loves, blow.

Sasha O. (of Presidential-Elect Daughter fame) spent all Thanksgiving complaining about how the new puppy had to be so ugly just because her bratty sister was allergic. 

Rosie O. (of Exit to Eden fame) spent thanksgiving wondering why her variety special was advertised so damn much during football. She was quoted as saying  "Why the hell would any one who watches football want to watch a fucking variety show staring Rosie?  Especially given that the closeted or gay ones will all be watching Dancing with the Stars anyway."

Pocahontas (of Native American fame) spent yet another Thanksgiving wondering why the hell teachers spend so much time talking about her at this time of year.  Especially, because she had nothing to do with Thanksgiving because she lived in Jamestown and died of smallpox in 1617 four years before the traditional thanksgiving.  Also, she wonders why so many of you masturbate to her Disney characterization cause she thinks that's kinda sick.  

Addition by Addition

To add some new flavor to my blog, which I feel is growing a bit stagnant, I have added two new contributors to my personal blogosphere. My good buddy Alan Birkemeier will be a new poster. I have encouraged him to do book reviews, as he reads about as many books as I watch movies. I am sure he will also update about his life out west teaching the Mormon children.

And after such success and fanfare of his last post, entertainment gossip hound extraordinaire, Blogger Q has graced me with his exclusive thoughts and information. He will also be posting starting soon.

On a side note, be sure to check out http://ianvjoe.blogspot.com/ if you get the chance. Be sure to vote on the polls.

Saw 3/4

Well, to further along the great 08 quest, I watched Saw 3 and 4 on back to back nights this past weekend. I had not seen either one, and it seemed like as good a plan as any to watch these. I enjoyed the first in this series, even if the acting was suspect at the time. There was a nice twist ending for that one. Of course because they had such an effective and surprising twist ending in the first one, they feel the need to continue the twist ending tradition. Of course this makes it really unsurprising and may constitute not being a twist if everyone is expecting it. Anyway, back on track.

Saw 1, enjoyed it. I saw the sequel in the theater with my wife. And as many of my dear readers will know already, I have a strong aversion to needles. I can't stand the thought of getting my blood drawn, and avoid shots more than the diseases they prevent. So when Ad said she could feel my blood pressure drop during the needle pit scene in Saw 2, I knew she wasn't lying.

This brings me to point number one about Saw 3/4, and horror movies in general. I do not consider myself a squeamish person. I watch a lot of horror movies, and have seen people die on screen in many many crazy ways. I play a lot of video games where you can dismember or behead your opponents and victims. Seeing blood on screen has never been a problem for me. Unless it is very realistic. Torture scenes and realistic forms of violence can get under my skin. There was one scene in hostel that really bothered me, but the rest of the movie was so over the top that it was much easier to handle.

In Saw 3 there are quite a few traps/scenarios that are so unbelievable that they don't' bother me. I feel like I have a pretty good disconnect in my mind when watching scary movies about suspending disbelief and rules of logic. But let's take a scene from Saw 3 as an example. Victim A is strapped to a machine designed to twist all his limbs and head until they spin all the way around. Now this is a gruesome thought, and they do a good job of conveying the horror and pain that the guy must be going through. That is until his leg spins all the way around with all the bones broken, and he continues screaming and begging for help until his head (last in the circuit of course) is spun round and his neck is broken. Now, again suspending disbelief can go only so far. That dude would have passed out from shock after 20 seconds, not the 2 or 3 minutes that was depicted. And because of this, I was able to not be affected by it at all.

That one scene demonstrates my overall feeling of Saw 3. They went over the top so far that it was easy to disconnect from it and not be fully engaged.

Saw 4 picks up right where the third instalment ended. A new set of victims is introduced, as well as new and different way for them to die. Though in the fourth movie, they seemed to cut down on the gore and death and try to focus more on story development. Which is a rare thing in a movie that is based and designed to be more fast paced and gory. It also tips the viewer off quite early that they have no intention of stop making these movies, and they will continually drop hints and foreshadow for future movies. Which means it's hard to get emotionally engaged with any of these characters. By the end of 4, we are introduced to the new main bad guy and they leave the door wide open for future sequels. And I have no doubt that once 6 comes out, 7 won't be close behind.

I'm not as shocked that this franchise is still going. Not long ago franchises like Nightmare on Elm Street and the Friday the 13th series made movies until it seemed they had run out of ideas, and then made about 3 more after that. As long as Saw makes money, which it does ever year, they will keep making them. And until they stop making money, they will extend the overall story arc. There will be just enough info given to make you want to see the next (ie spend the money) Thus I can't judge the quality of this whole series until it's over.

I like the premise, I like the actors they keep bringing in. They seem to be keeping up with themselves in terms of coming up with gruesome ways to off people. But it can only be stretched so thin before people just don't care anymore. It defiantly feels like the rubber band is stretched thin at this point. Lets hope they wrap up the series before it snaps.

Yeah, I know

I have been quite slack in my blogging over the past few months. I was quite busy with this little thing called my wedding, but now that that's over, I'm ready to re enter the blogosphere with some infrequent updates.

I've watched about 10 movies since my last update. I'm not going to update about all of the, mostly because I don't feel like it. I did see Pineapple Express, which I thought was really good. The best parts for me were the throw away lines that don't do anything for the story, but are still hilarious. I think my favorite one is when one of the guys calls his grandma and says "You lost all your money playing bid whist?" It's not really that funny on the page, but damn it cracked my shit up on the screen.

I also saw Foot Fist Way starring Danny McBride. I think he's going to be the next big star to pop out of the Judd Apatow crew. He has some memorable but hilarious parts in Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder. But Foot Fist Way is his main vehicle. And it's fucking hilarious. Check it out if you can find it. It's out on DVD or Netflix it. Do what ever you can.

The wedding went off without any major complications. I was quite shocked. I forgot a few things here and there, but nothing that anyone other than Adie and I noticed. Alan and Katie delivered very nice and very short toasts, no one was almost kicked out for public intoxication. We got some really good pictures, as well as some freaky ones that we ad libbed. Once we get the final shots back, I'll update with some of the better offerings. Adie says it was a perfect day, so I think I accomplished my goals.

Instead of going on a honeymoon right away, we decided to just have one really nice meal out. Between our limited budget and limited days off Adie could take off, we figured it was the most prudent option. We will still look to go somewhere over spring break, or during next summer. Anyway, we went to Restaurant Tallent here in town and it was awesome. Adie had some black truffle and goat cheese tortellini's and I had rabbit. I had never had rabbit before, but I figured that I could risk it in such an establishment. And it turned out really good. I'd eat there every night if I was rich as fuck, but I ain't, so it's Taco Bell instead.

Married life is really no different than my life before, except for a few key improvements. I now have health insurance for the first time since 1999. While I have not had the opportunity to make use of it yet, I rest better knowing that it is there just in case. I also have the privilege and honour of bringing one more Smith into the fold, as Adie has now changed her name. I know that I have done a good thing for all Smith's out there. I am afraid that the name will die out soon, so there is at least one more for now to carry the legacy on.

I also got to witness history yesterday as America elected Obama as their next president. I didn't think it was ever possible for Indiana to vote Democratic either, so it was a night of firsts. While it is not a fix that will make all the troubles go away over night, I do whole heartily believe that he is the best person to be in the White House to try and tackle all this crazy ass shit that's going on. Here's hoping he starts removing the ridiculous parts of the patriot act and starts repealing the no child left behind act. One can only hope.

I will attempt to keep up a better blogging schedule from here on out. I also need to ramp up my movie watching if I'm going to even come close to my goal of 120 for this year. I will now leave everyone with a word of wisdom from the prophet Lil' Wayne

"Your like a bitch with no ass, you ain't got shit."