This post is Nifty

HAPPY 50TH POST EVERYONE!!! IT'S FANTASTIC!!!

I was so rudely reminded that my posting habits have fallen behind those of others. So I make my triumphant return to the blogosphere to grace all with these words of wisdom. Think of my infrequent posts not as a failure to produce or an accurate exhibit of apathy, but more of a prolonging of the magic. Savor these morsels. They could save your life one day.

I must come clean here in a public forum. I have been watching Sex and the City. A close friend of mine convinced me to watch a few episodes with her during a visit a few months ago. As I had no other ideas of what to do, and with the promise from her that they weren't that bad and that there were a decent amount of boobies shown, I relented and watched one episode. I was vaguely familiar with the characters and overall storyline. And I have to admit it wasn't the worst thing I have ever seen. I further relented and watched another. And another. And another. And another. I was resigned to the fact at this point that I was going to have to watch all of them. It is part of my personality. Especially when faced with movies or TV, I must know all. So I went to task aquiring all the seasons of SATC. Once they were all aquired, I started the long trek through 6 seasons. The good thing for me was that all the episodes fall between running times of 20-30 minutes. Much better than attempting watching all of Oz. Between the hour long run times and the constant threat of man dangle an rape, SATC offered a cozier experiance.
My friend had warned me that the first two seasons weren't as good as the rest, but if I could slog through them that it would be worth it in the end. And jesus hopping saviour was she right. The first season was down right attrocious, and the second was only marginally better. The third brought more compelling (read: realistic) stories. And that's as far as I've gotten. I fineshed up the second and third seasons in a whirlwind 2 day marathon and burned myself out for a bit.
After watching that many episodes, I have come to a few conclusions. Firstly, I am missing a main component that would allow me to fully enjoy SATC to it's fullest. I don't give a shit about New York, New Yorkers, or their way of life. I don't give a shit about fashion or shoes. Most of the time I think that the fashion choices presented are ridiculous, ugly, or mediocre. And I really don't have much affection for Sarah Jessica Parker, or her charachter Carrie. That poses a problem as she's the main charachter and most of the story lines revolve around her in some way.
The good thing for me is that I'm over halfway home. The fifth season is way short, and I've already cut a decent chunk out of the sixth. Then I can be done with all this nonsense.

Hi Kids, do you like violence?

Welcome back!!! Driving home from Jula's last night we had hijacked Will's car and Ipod for our listening and driving pleasure. I set up the Top 100 hits of the 90's and hit random and let the bitch run. After knowing at least the chorus, if not most of the words to about 10 songs in a row I began to wonder how much of my brain is filled with song lyrics. I hope that the ratio is pretty low in comparison to capacity, and if not that the lyric part of the brain isn't choking out the cure for cancer or something.

Another 7 mini-reviews coming and then a recap of the past few exciting weeks.

51. Snakes on a Plane
Caught this one on HBO when I was down visiting K&K a while back and forgot that I had seen it. It was as awesome as when I saw it in the theater. Snakes + Sam Jackson is just awesome. And say what you will about ludicrous plots, at least every crazy stupid thing they do in the movie is backed up by some kind of previous plot points. As ludicrous as it all seems, in the bubbled context of this film alone it all makes sense. So that's good.

52. Longest Yard (original)
Burt Reynolds was a beefcake of a man in the 70's. That did little to salvage this turd. I didn't like it at all, but watched it out of necessity to count it towards the total. Though they did burn up a dude pretty fierce.

53. Comedians of Comedy: Live at the Troubadour
Funny stand up special featuring lots of subversive comics bringing their dirtiest stuff. Can't really go wrong with Oswalt, Cross, Galifinakis, Bamford, Posehn, Silverman, ect...

54. Wanted
While this should have been a 10+ out of the park hit for me, it really wasn't. I saw this with Alan and we both should have loved the shit out of it. Guns CHECK Hot Girl (Jolie) CHECK Crazy fights CHECK Cool Director who we both liked previous works by CHECK Over the top Action CHECK But when it was all said and done, neither one of us could pinpoint why we didn't love it but we agreed that it was missing SOMETHING. I gave it a 6 and ranked it as a "movie" I didn't hate it but it fell way flat. Which is to bad because the ingredients were there. The scary thing we decided was that because this film really was designed to be loved by guys like us and that we didn't, that somewhere along the line somebody missed a huge mark.

55. Shoot Em Up
I told Alan following Wanted that Shoot Em Up was the movie that Wanted should have been. So we went home after seeing Wanted and fired this one up. I loved it as much the second time as when we initially saw it in the theater. It's also bat shit crazy, has crazy gunfights, and some highly improbable plot points. But much like Snakes on a Plane, they cover everything with a plausible plot point from before. It doesn't matter that no baby smiles when listening to death metal, but when Clive Owen deduces that his mother must have lived close to a heavy metal club, and they go find an apartment above said club, it at least makes sense. Remember the aforementioned logic bubble that you must sometimes carry from movie to movie.

56. WALL-E
Awesome flick. Beautiful space shots, funny parts, nostalgia, and robots. We saw this one on the 4Th and the theater was jam packed with kids and adults. Most kids seemed to enjoy it, though the family in front of us should have never even left the house. A typical father/mother combo with two little girls. The oldest of the two couldn't have been more than three, and the other maybe two. Neither of which wanted to sit still or watch a movie. This didn't stop the family from plunking down for four tickets and some refreshments to see only about a third of the film before they left. Moral of the story, don't listen to a toddler when they see something on TV and say they want it. They really don't. Man up and be an adult and tell the kids to STFU sometimes.

57. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls
Well, everything I heard about this one said it was terrible and to just skip it. I decided that it couldn't be that bad and went anyway. I should have listened to the majority. It was really, really, really, really, really bad. Bad acting, bad plot, bad script, terrible accents, stupid fight scenes, dumb comedy, and an overall plot arc that was so basic that it didn't take a genius to figure out what was really going on about twenty minutes into the film. Really bad stuff.

I also was in Cincinnati this weekend taking in a few Red's games. On Sunday we decided to buy good seats down on field level. These seats were around $40 bucks a pop. So imagine my confusion when about halfway through the second inning a group of six older people finally made their way to their seats and began blabbering about the most inane topics I have ever heard of in my life. "It's so hard to find a job now. Job interviews are so much different. They wanted to know what my life goals was. To make a buck, ok." This was met with a guffaw usually reserved for bad dinner theater from the 1800's. The ladies then proceeded to debate on if the Washington Nationals used to be called the Senators and if they were from Washington State or Washington D.C. Here's a tip for those ladies. If your so concerned with making money, perhaps you should know who the fuck is playing the game you paid so much to go see. Or just shut the fuck up and not be dumb whores.

God Bless America!!!