ADD

When I was attending Ivy Tech full time my last 2 semesters, there weren't many other students that were carting their laptops with them to class and using them. Maybe it was the over abundance of computer labs at Ivy Tech, and the ease of access to all classes, as they are encapsulated in one building. Maybe it was just easier to take hand written notes or no notes at all. Most people, my self included, spent as little time at the actual building as possible. And presumably like me, everyone just went home and did their work on their computers from the comforts of their own home.

That is not true at IU. In my first full semester at IU, it's seemingly commonplace for everyone to have a laptop, and for everyone to use them during class. I'd say about 40 percent of the people in my classes use laptops during lectures. The only class that I don't see anyone using one is my English class, and I think that's just because it's more of a casual atmosphere where we just sit around and talk about the readings. No real lecture time.

Now I bring all this up to set up 2 separate stories that confound my brain.

In my Soc class, there is a guy who sits close enough to me to see his laptop during class. This class is a standard lecture class with about 80 students, and there are lots of notes to be taken. Most people just use the old tried and true method of pen and paper, while some are using their computers to type out a word document. Not this guy though. He has a specialized note taking program. This program formats the page to look just like a standard college rule notebook. It has the margin lines and lines across to write on just like a spiral notebook. And the font. OH the font. It looks just like someone's writing it down with a pen. Not some snazzy blocked up symmetrical font, but slightly askew print. So, presuming his Macbook Pro only cost him about 1300, he gets to type out all his notes to make them look like he wrote them down on paper. If he had just written them down on paper, he could have done so for about $4.26. But he doesn't have to do the "I gotta shake my hand cause it hurts so much from writing so much so quickly" move that is so common with the rest of us.

This second scenario is even more baffling to me. In one of my other classes, this same guy always sits in front of me. As soon as his butt hits the chair he has his laptop whipped out and fired up. He always instantly fires up facebook and starts checking his chat bar for who he can chat with during class. He then also starts looking at pictures and random creeping. Once that has lost it's intrest, he starts looking at his own set of pictures, usually the same set featuring him and some random girl posing all kissy face and whatnot out at some bar. At first I thought he was just some sad dude that just got dumped and was reliving his days gone by with his ex. I don't know anymore though. This has gone on for 5 weeks now.

But that isn't the end of this guys laptop ADD. He also types out whatever goes on the power point. He's not listening, just typing out whatever goes up on the board. In between typing these notes and creeping on FB, yesterday he was also watching some NHL highlights from the 1990's. With no sound on. The highlights were spaced in between interviews that he could not hear. Unless he's a lip reader, he picked the wrong set of hockey highlights to be watching. Now when it was time to "take notes" on a new slide, he would begrudgingly pause his hockey highlights, switch over to his notes by popping out his widgets that show all open windows, select his notes, and then switch back. He was visibly annoyed by this as he clearly only wanted to be watching his silent hockey movie. Eventually he got the bright idea that he could just shrink his notes down to about half the size of his screen, and then move the youtube video box to the other side, so he could have uninterrupted viewing and note taking at the same time. Such ingenuity and brain power displayed gives me hope for this young man's future. If only he can find a career where he can somehow manage upwards of 10 windows on his laptop screen, frantically switching back and forth between them trying against all hope to hold his ADD at bay and keep his mind occupied at all times on anything BUT his schoolwork, he'll be set for life.

I'm not saying I'm the most attentive student in the world. I get sleepy and yawn sometimes. I fidget, though mostly due to the fact that almost every classroom at IU is retrofitted with some of the most godawful and uncomfortable seating. But I try to pay attention. I take notes when I feel they will help me. Partially out of respect for my teachers. Either they will recognize that I'm trying to engage in the class and not just show up to get attendance credit and this will hopefully work in my favor down the line, or I am just trying to get my money's worth out of the experience. Why pay, or have someone else pay, for all these classes if your just gonna creep on FB and chat with your friends online. You can do that for free, from just about anywhere in the world. You don't have to pay 800 bucks a class or whatever it breaks down to at IU to slump down in a chair, act completely disinterested in what's going on around you, and relive that night at Upstairs where you totally felt up that hot blonde with big tits and then threw up over the balcony.

ZOMG!!!!

I'm back. I'm sure no one cares. Here are things you should see/not see based on what I've watched since my last update.

SEE
In Bruge
Star Trek
The Hangover
Drag Me to Hell
Inglorious Basterds
Observe and Report

MISS
Harry Potter 6
Revolver
City of Ember
Autopsy

There's a very small chance that I'm going to make my goal. It's in the single digits for sure. I'd need 72 more in the next 4.5 months, which would more than double my output for the first 8.5. It's not impossible, but improbable.

On to something new and different.

About a month ago my friend Rob came over to check out the new house while he was in town from Cali. We spent a good hour or so catching up on the deck, laughing and joking much like we have done for much of our relationship. Rob then busted out with a request that I simply just couldn't refuse. He and his fiance Ash are set to be wed next May, and asked me to preside over their nuptials. We had talked briefly about this about a year ago when Rob first announced his engagement to me and their very preliminary plans. Neither of them wanted a big church wedding, but something more along their tastes. I had suggested just having one of their friends get ordained online and take care of it that way. Fast forward one year later and it was coming true.

Yesterday I was looking through a blog that I frequent and happened across a link to http://www.dudeism.com/index.html For those uninitiated, this is a "religion" based on the teachings and practices of "The Dude" from the Big Lebowski. After Rob checked with the county clerks office, I quickly was ordained today and am one step closer to fulfilling my duties for my two friends. Mark it, Dude!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

It's been a while since I last watched a movie and felt that I had to blog about it right away. And typically if I dive right into writing about something that quickly it is either a sign that I absolutely loved it or it was absolute dog shit. Well, I sure didn't love it.

Now when I watch a movie I like to read up on it. Typically I check my movie websites at least once a day that have pre-production notes about movies that I want to see, or pictures. Eventually once the movie comes out there are the reviews from critics that I respect, as well as the general populous reaction on a film. Granted I don't always enjoy the same thing the masses do, but it's a good starting off point. Now about a month ago, right before April Fool's Day, word spread around the internet of a leaked DVD quality print of the movie circulating the tubes well in advance of the movie actually coming out. I've heard that if you wanted to download a movie on the internet you typically have to wait until the DVD is a few weeks away from being released before a good quality print is leaked on the internet. So it seemed like a big deal to those that wanted to see the film early that such a good print was out already. Some believed that it was some kind of promotional April Fools Joke and that it wouldn't turn out to be real. Those ideas were false as many of the critics I follow began writing about how the work print that was released was real and that they didn't want anyone writing to them about the movie or sending them copies. Internet piracy is serious business and they wanted nothing to do with it.

I give you this long preamble, dear readers, as a bit of precursor to the excitement that people had over this movie. There were numerous reports of Fox, the studio releasing the film, giving reports that the print released was far from the finished product with scenes still missing. There was the subsequent threat of finding who leaked it and prosecuting. Reports of the FBI coming into help the investigation. Rewrites, Reshoots, and massively changed plot lines were all talked about in efforts to dissuade people from illegally downloading and watching the movie before it came out. Many speculated that the movie would suffer greatly at the box office because of this leak. Well, it still opened to an 85 million weekend, so I don't think they are hurting that much.

I am not one of those people that get so worked up over comic book movies that I feel cheated and wronged if even the slightest continuity from the books is changed for a movie. I just like movies. If they can stay close to the source material than that's awesome. But if some stuff gets reworked a bit to tell a better story than I'm fine with it. But one thing that I don't like is watching movies that have such gaping holes and problems in them that they are rendered unenjoyable. Granted I have seen and enjoyed many nonsensical movies in my time. But the difference is that when I watch a bad horror movie or cheesy sci-fi film I know going in that it's going to suck. Then I can enjoy it that much more. But Wolverine I was watching under the pretense that it would be good. Enjoyable. Fun. Kick Ass. Much like the first two X-men movies. I knew the directors and writers were different, but c'mon. You got the basic wolverine stuff down, so you just play with it and make it awesome right? OH NO.

First of all, they tried to cram in every cameo and special appearance of all the "cool" mutants that didn't make the cut (pun intended) in the previous Xmen movies. And by trying to introduce like 8 new characters in a movie that in it's title tells you that only one dude is getting the most screen time, and it ain't any of newbies, than you know your in for a disaster. Most of them only get about two scenes a piece. Some die off screen and only get mentioned again. Others just kind of hang out in the background. Which would work fine if you didn't cast all these stars and give them speaking roles. If you want to just put in a random shot of someone in the background for the fanboys, then do it. But don't play up the previews like you get all this action out of these other characters, and then only use them about 4 minutes each in the whole fucking movie.

But all that is just griping at some incidental scenes in the movie. Overall it's just limp and boring. There are random jumps in time and location. There is very little explaining why anything is going on. There seems to be an attempt to make Wolverine a caring loving man who get's wronged when his lady friend is killed, but who gives a shit. They do such a bad job at telling that story that I felt nothing about these characters. So when the lady meets her end, it was more of a feeling of satisfaction. Satisfaction in hoping that something cool would happen instead of another 20 minutes of them playing kissy face in Canada in between scenes of Hugh Jackman cutting down trees.

It's like the makers of the film forgot how to make a summer action movie. All the fights are lame and boring. All the mutants either die quickly or have regeneration powers so fighting just seems lame since you know they will heal up and continue to live no matter what. And since it's a prequal to the other X-Men movies, you know Wolverine, Sabertooth, and Striker all live. There is no drama to any of their scenes.

But my biggest gripe with this movie, and any movie for that matter, is the giant fucking plot holes that they open up. I'm all about suspending logic when watching movies. If I'm watching a movie and they set up some kind of rule about what's going on in that universe and they stick to it, I can follow with them reguardless of how ludicris those rules are. But the thing I can't stand is when you establish a rule, and then realize towards the end that you've painted your way into a corner you can't get out of. So instead of going back and fixing it, you just make some shit up. Which leads me to the ending, which put the shit topping on an already dung filled sundae.

SPOILER ALERT

So if you know anything about Wolverine at all, you know his bones are covered in Adamantium. Which is supposedly the hardest metal in history and can't be broken. They go over this in the movie as well in case your a newb who don't know shit. They then inject Wolverines body with the adamantium which then coats his bones so that he's indestructible. Couple this with his super healing powers and he's pretty formidable. So when he goes ape shit against the baddies who made him they decide they have to kill him. Everything is cool up to this point.

One of the very first scenes following him getting his shiny new metal bones is him playing with his new claws that can cut through anything. And he kinda rubs his claws together and they clang apart and make sparks, indicating that they can't cut themselves. They do this a couple of different times, just to make sure your getting the idea that his bones can't be broken.

OK, everyone following along at this point? They set up their logic point. They demonstrated it. It follows the normal progression of believability so far.

Then the wheels fall the fuck off. The baddies decide the only way to kill Wolverine is to shoot him with bullets made of Adamantium. They mention this about half way through the movie, being sure to include shots of the gun and bullets so that when it comes back later we can all go "OH YEAH, I REMEMBER"

So when the ending comes up they cut to a differnt shot of the baddie getting the gun out and saying that the bullets won't kill him, but it will erase his memories. Because his brain will heal itself after it get's shot, but the memories stored on that old tissue will be gone as it's filled in with new tissue. It's a pretty shitty conclusion, but I guess you could work with it.

OH YEAH, except for the fact they made sure to show you Wolverine getting all his bones covered in adamantium. Including his skull. Which holds his brain. So when he would get shot, if you went with all the rules they set up earlier, the bullet would hit his skull first and then bounce away. It would not in fact go into his brain and make him an amnesiac. But never mind that. We only have 10 minutes left in the movie. Shoot him in the head. Shoot him 3 times. It'll work. What's this now, oh he's a dumbfuck who can't even remember his name since he got shot. Awesome. Print it. It's a wrap.

I'm sure this movie will make money. It appeals to children who will beg, borrow, steal, mame, and do everything else under the sun to convince whoever they can to give them money to go see this movie. Hell, the opening weekend shows that to be true. I'm sure once all the numbers get crunched that this movie will make a profit. And if it makes even one red cent, than the movie studios will continue to make shitty products.

Goings on

Things around here have been a very odd mixture of extremes lately. As the semester winds down for both Ad and I we have the odd pressure of finishing up everything on time with the de-motivation that a coming break in routines brings.

I have my application into IU and they are just waiting to get my official transcripts. I meet the entrance criteria so it's virtually in the bag. This will mark an important milestone for me as I have been struggling and striving to get to IU for what seems like an eternity. Summer school remains an option, but more than likely I will take the summer off schooling and start at IU in the fall. I hope to take 15-18 hours and try and get finished ASAP.

We are going to meet with the bank next Friday to being the process of buying a house. We hope to get pre-approved then and have a figure to work with. Then we will begin looking with more focus at buying out first house. Our lease ends at our rental in the middle of August and it can't come quicker if you ask me. We are pretty ready to get out of the heart of the city where our neighbors are right on top of us and the street noise is loud and bothersome. Hopefully we can find a place and close towards the end of June. This will allow us to have little to no overlap in payment of rent/mortgage. Assuming all goes well we will have the unenviable task of moving. Though spread out over a few weeks hopefully.

The thought of actually buying a house seems pretty frightening and liberating all at the same time. I am sick of paying rent for a place instead of working to own it. I seemingly can fix most small problems that arise around a house, or if not I know people who can. But owning a house also signifies some progression of life. One more step to people looking at you as a "responsible adult" I realize that most 27 year old's are defiantly to that point in their lives and more power to them. But that just ain't me. But it's time. Critics be damned.

With that thought of pending greater responsibility comes the added new ideas of fiscal responsibility. I have defiantly noticed a slow down in my retail spending habits. Though I pretty much equate this equally to a growing sense of responsibility and also catching up to the market. I have bought pretty much all the back issued stuff that I want. So until new stuff comes out or stuff that hasn't been released gets a street date, I've caught up with the market.

I also have just realized that there are certain things I don't need to do. I don't go out to the bars drinking. The bar scene was never my thing and if I want to drink I'll happily buy whatever I want cheaper at a store and drink with company that I enjoy rather than overpaying at a bar and leaving the company up to random chance.

I typically spend most Saturday nights at home with my mom. She comes over and sleeps because she works back to back shifts at the hospital on the weekends. By staying here she saves herself driving and can sleep in longer. And it's fun to hang out with her. Growing up in formative years with only one parent I think you either develop a strong relationship with that remaining parent or you drift away. Joan and I defiantly grew closer. And hanging out with her that one night a week is important to the both of us I think. Realistically there won't be those opportunities forever, and I would like to think that once the time comes I will look back on those nights spent with her instead of going out were time very well spent. Just in the short term those times will come to a close as Joan is set to retire at the end of May.

Having insurance for the first time since High School has allowed me the privilege and honor of not being scoffed or laughed at when calling a doctor to check me out. I knew my blood pressure was high and needed to get it checked out/modified with medications. I made an appointment with a doc here in town as a new patient, but unfortunately his first available appointment was in the middle of July. And this was about a month ago. Around the same time I came down with some kind of cold bug and needed to go to the doctor for that as well. I ended up going to prompt care and getting some antibiotics and cough medicine for my cold. While there they also put in a call to my new would-be doc and managed to get me in to see him a week later.

For me going to see a doctor is a very real struggle for my brain. I know the risks and problems associated with being overweight and that I obviously needed some kind of medication for my BP or I would probably explode one day out of the blue. But with doctors come needles. And needles are my long time enemy. Growing up when it was time to get a shot or worse yet blood drawn, my anxiety would skyrocket to sights that are typically reserved for those on incredibly good drugs or people with documented mental disorders. I did some very basic research online and found that there are very real cases of people that refuse to seek out medical treatment because of their fear of needles, even to the point of risking or actually doing real and permanent damage to themselves by not going to the doctor.

So when the doc told me that I would need to get a blood sample drawn so that they could test for stuff that i hadn't had done in like 14 years I wasn't surprised but I wasn't thrilled by the idea either. He said I could go in whenever I wanted before my next appointment, so I of course waited till the very last day to do so. I slept fitfully the night before and when I did sleep my dreams were about being in the hospital, or getting a shot or my blood drawn. I went as soon as I could just to get it over with. While waiting in the waiting room I was joined by about 4 elderly people who were also waiting to get their blood drawn for whatever reason. They were just chatting quietly or reading some magazine and didn't seem to have a care in the world. On the other hand I'm sitting all by myself in a corner of the room trying not look nervous. Which of course makes me look even more nervous. I could feel my face being even more flushed than it's already accustomed to being. I alternated drumming my fingers on my legs sporadically to jiggling both legs as if I was suffering from the non-existent "restless leg syndrome"

I was about fourth in line. One by one the elderly were called in to face the horror that awaited me. I mentally took note of how long it took the first person to come in and out so I could have a deadline clock in my mind. Unfortunately it only took the first guy one minute before he was smiling and whistling his ass out the front door. While a normal person would view this as good news, that they were going to get out of there quickly, I of course was filled with even more panic and dread. There wasn't much time. I was surely going to befall some great and painful tragedy in only 4 minutes time. Not even time for a last meal or snack, as I had to be fasting to get the damn test drawn. This was a seriously unfortunate feeling.

As my name was called I followed the nurse back to the lair of doom. One giant chair with tons of vials and needles laid out next to it. All looking ominous. At the time I was flustered and bothered by how methodical and unthinking the tech was as she prepped me for what certainly would be one of the worst experiences of the year. I tried to make idol chit-chat with her in hopes of delaying the inevitable. She engaged me a bit, all the while readying the demon metal for insertion into my temple of a body. Without blinking an eye she said "Ok, here we go." She didn't even give me time to puss out and cry off. And before I could even start recoiling in horror, she pressed the cotton on my arm and said "All done. I saw you out there working yourself all up in a bother over that?" I could only chuckle and breath a sigh of relief and thank her for not maiming me in the name of science.

Following I was flooded with a rush of endorphins. I wasn't dead. It didn't hurt. I was worrying over nothing. I was floating on cloud nine the rest of the day. I showed Joan where she stuck me and we couldn't even tell.

Even before the test, I attempted to mentally prepare. I knew then as I was reminded of during the actual test that it doesn't hurt. The modern needle is designed to do it's job quickly, effectively, and as pain free as possible. I would tell myself over and over that it's no big deal, that they probably process 100's of samples a day at this tiny clinic. They are pro's that are paid to not fuck it up. But it didn't help. There was still a giant disconnect in my brain between what I knew to be reality and what I interpreted that reality to be. Even when it was all over and I could relax, I couldn't pinpoint why I have this fear. It's like I have some ill-formed conspiracy theory about needles. Even though I know the facts, I know they've been skewed and manipulated by some secret organization waiting to spring the trap on me. It's so illogical and misconceived.

The tests came back all fine. I was surprised to hear that my cholesterol was within normal ranges and that there were only some slight abnormalities with the rest of the tests. I assumed that I was going to have to start taking a bunch of new meds, but the doc only suggested taking a few vitamin supplements to correct the balances.

This whole needle thing got me thinking about how even though a person can see the logical side of an issue, it doesn't matter. Their minds either don't want to see those things, or they aren't equipped to handle those truths. In my case I knew needles and doctor tests were important and easy to do, but the fear and anxiety were greater than the understanding of those facts. People evolve and change their thinking about stuff all the time. But there has to be some kind of personal awareness and functionality so that even if I can't rid myself of those irrational fears, I can recognize that it's something to work on.

The reality's are that by going to the doc I have the baselines. I had the tests done. I got the meds. And it's not so bad. I live a good and happy life for me. I enjoy spending time with my family which wasn't always the case. I enjoy spending time with my wife. Which was always the case. The plans are set and in motion. I don't give two fucks that my plan/history isn't the normal case. Kudos to all those that did/do. I hope your happy with it. That's the goal. Be happy with what you are doing. And if you know me at all, you know that that's me all over.

Honey Puzzle

Ok, I know that this blog is usually about movies.  But I need some advice from the internet.

I recently obtained a paint can full of desert honey.  Now, I'm not at liberty to say how I got this honey, but I have it.  If you have recently shopped for desert honey, you know it is expensive. So I don't want to waste it by drinking it in one shot.  So basically I am open to suggestions for what to do with it.  So far, I am thinking of making mead but that seems like a lot of work.  Also, I thought of breaking it up into smaller jars but that seems like it could be a mess. So any ideas would be appreciated.

Alan

Fair Warning

I am writing this blog post out of a sense of obligation as well as to take my mind of my suffering. I have developed a nice head/chest cold that allows me to blow my nose every three minutes to only feel it slowly fill back up and press outward on my eyes and nose. So this post could be filled with short, curt ideas due to my weakened state, or it could also be my best one ever.

21. Watchmen (second viewing)
I took the wife to see this over the spring break. I still dug it. There are plenty of details to pick up upon a second viewing that are easily missed the first time, but that add to the depth and flavor of the whole experience. It's def worth checking out.

22. Club Dread
There always seems to come a point in movies like this where I resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be left disappointed in the end. The Broken Lizard gang know they can make a funny movie. They know they can make funny charachters do funny things and everyone will be smiling and happy. And I'm sure when it came time for them to make this film, they all sat around and decided that they would make a horror movie, but make it funny. And there is the problem. You end up taking these two genre's of films that you want to make, and you figure that you can make them both work and it will be awesome and everyone will dig it. But they you have to cut some jokes down or out of the script to get the story moving, but you also can't go for the all out gore fest that a movie like this deserves because you don't want to alienate all the people coming to see Super Troopers on an island. And what your left with is a watered down semi-funny script that's not gory or scary enough to justify all the time spent on it. This movie is also almost 2 hours long, which is way to long to only be marginally entertained.

Well, apathy can be a bitch

I lost my focus on what this blog was intended for, and it has come to bite me in the ass. This blog was originally intended to help me keep track and process the movies that I watched in my yearly goal. I keep a list on my computer of the movies I watch so I can keep an accurate tally. That is, until I was forced to wipe my HD due to a virus on my computer and I lost my files. I had backed everything up, but that was back in January. I pieced together the list as best I could from memory but I know I watched about 3 other movies that I can't account for anymore. Doesn't bode well for my memory or those films that I can't remember them less than 2 months out. But onward and upward. Here are some thoughts about the films that I DO remember watching.

11. Coraline
This was the first movie that I saw in a theater this year. It was also presented in 3-D. I was pleasantly surprised with the 3-D glasses that were provided. Gone were the flimsy red and blue lenses that never work right. For the extra two bucks we had to pay for the film each we were given glasses that resembled Drew Carey frames with lenses that were only slightly tinted grey. They easily fit over my real glasses so I could see just fine. And they worked like a charm. The 3-D effects are awesome in this film and add some real texture to the movie. There are only 3 or 4 instances of an overt 3-D move like someone poking out at the screen, or a needle coming at you. The rest is just a nice layering effect.
The movie itself was very good. It's defiantly one of those films that straddles the line between being a movie aimed at kids and adults. Gotta maximize those profits somehow. It's a very good story with dark overtones and many layers to the story. Most children won't pick up on all the subtleties of the film, but the adults should enjoy the film more because of it. It's amazing to think that the entire film was made via stop motion. The style very much resembles Nightmare Before Christmas, but has a more polished look and feel to it.

12. Eagle vs. Shark
This came on my radar because it starred one of the members of Flight of the Concords. My feelings about this movie can be summed up pretty quickly. Imagine Napoleon Dynamite set in New Zealand. Though forced a bit, the humor and quirkiness were there and there were some very genuine funny parts. I didn't love it, but it was pretty OK.

13. Botched
A slasher/horror/comedy about a failed heist gone horribly wrong. This one got going pretty quick. A heist goes wrong and the robbers take some hostages and get stuck on a seemingly abandoned floor in a high rise building. Quickly devolving into a gore fest with some bizarre twists and turns that involve some of the captives really being the bad guys along with some kind of thinly veiled back story of the crazy people that inhabit the abandoned floor being descendant from Ivan the Terrible. If you can stay with the weirdness you can sit back and enjoy a pretty well done slasher movie. It's never scary, and the deaths are defiantly over the top. But it stays within the context of itself and doesn't try to do to much. I enjoyed this one.

14. Sex Drive
I remembered this had come out a while back simply from the poster of a giant doughnut in a sombrero. It was a pretty good Teenage Sex Comedy in the same vein as American Pie. The problem with most TSC's that have come out in recent years is that there is little new comedic material to be covered so everything usually feels like a remake of some other shitty movie. But this one has enough new stuff as well as twists to the themes of the past that it makes it enjoyable. It moves fast enough and doesn't try and hammer in some lame joke over and over again.

15. Extreme Movie
This is also a TSC but done in a different manner. This has the feel of a sketch comedy troupe that wrote about 10 different sketches that are all based on the same thing and have differing levels of funniness, and they need to figure out how to connect them all together. There is a plot of sorts about a boy like a girl but being to chicken to ask her out, but these scenes are either used as filler or to launch of of the sketches. Very hit or miss, but probably would have worked better as individual clips.

16. Watchmen
I loved it. Most other critics didn't. I think you have to have some history with the source material, or you just won't get into it and quickly dismiss it. Visually it's awesome and features much of the same level of gore and stylized violence as 300. Sticks close to the source material up until the end, sometimes to it's detriment. Some of the dialogue is very short and clipped. Which makes sense on some level as it's based on a comic book where you can't write tons of extraneous dialogue. But in this format I think it could have been punched up a bit and made to sound a bit more natural. There is a new ending that cuts out a major part of the book. But the effect is the same. I actually thought the new ending was pretty cool and a bit more believable. Clocking in at a shade under 3 hours, this was well worth the money to see in the theater.

17. Brothers Solomon
I know everyone has that musician, artist, author, or actor that no matter what you will check out there new stuff. You have an allegiance to them for some earlier work of theirs that you really loved or that effected you greatly and you feel like lighting will continue to strike and all there stuff will be golden. I have that with Bob Odenkirk. I love Mr. Show. I think Bob Odenkirk is a funny dude and will watch whatever he's in. I also really enjoyed a movie that he directed called Melvin Goes to Dinner. Mr. Odenkirk directed this movie which also stared Will Arnett and Will Forte, both of who I have liked in other things. There were quite a few other actors in this film that I enjoy in other things. That being said, I didn't really dig them in this film. The premise is simple, but the setups aren't developed enough to make them funny or explain why everything is happening. It had some mildly ammusing parts, but in the end I felt like this was a funny concept that probably should have been cut down to a 10-15 minute sketch that just kept getting stretched and stretched until it was movie length.

18. Otis
Netflix's gremlins compiled all my previous likes and dislikes and figured I would like this film. It's basically a serial killer movie with a man who kidnaps teenage girls and torments their families by calling them and talking about their daughters while he has them locked up. Which could be pretty creepy if done right. But this movie has no intention of being a creepy serial killer movie. It wants to be quirky and funny as well. All the bits of the movie get shaken up and become muddled together until you can't decipher what the point of it is. There's some shenanigans going on and the ending is pretty predictable and just wraps up pretty quickly. It felt like they had the movie chugging along, but then realized they had to finish up in like 10 minutes so they crammed a bunch of stuff together. I can't say I liked this one. To muddy.

What Recession?

I fully admit that I do not watch and/or read the news on a regular basis. For the most part it is just a repeat of the same horrible things happening all over the place and I would much rather not be brought down by the soul crushingness of it all. Of course I know the basics of what is going on in the world, as there is no way to completely ignore all of this. But I don't need to know which person was killed on what street corner or who's house burnt down. And it is impossible to ignore the economic crisis that is facing America today. But in some respects, it is easy to ignore. And it's made easy if you started with nothing.

This does not include all those people who have been laid off from there jobs due to their previous employers financial woes. They may have had nothing before, but they really have nothing now. And I do feel bad for them.

But as a person with no assets that any bank would generally care about, I'm not feeling any kind of pressure from this diminished economy. I wasn't planning on applying for any new credit cards, so it doesn't bother me one bit that I probably wouldn't get one anyway. I have no car payment, house payment, or any dependents to worry about. I own no stocks and have no money otherwise associated with the stock market. I am totally unaffected by the tumultuous market as it continues to hemorrhage one way or the other seemingly daily. Again, I don't know exactly, cause I don't check it all that often.

I have lived a blessed life. In so much as I have never felt the burden of having to pinch pennies and work off of a strict budget. I have done some stupid things with money, and have learned from those mistakes. I don't keep a ledger of my bank account down to the penny, but I know roughly how much money is in the account. I know how much the bills are going to run, and can plan ahead and know not to spend. I live a relatively free economic life. Not to say that all couldn't change any time, and will likely when we attempt to buy our first home this coming summer. But from all accounts that I can find it is a GOOD time for us to buy.

All this preamble takes me to an experience I had last week that makes me wonder sometimes about peoples capacity to understand their own situations. On the way home from school one day I was formulating a grocery list in my head. I knew we needed a few things for around the house, as well as something for dinner that night. I decided to go to a Kroger that I don't normally go to on my way home. It was about noon and the store was relatively quiet. There was a bit of snow on the ground and my guess was that between the semi-remoteness of this particular store and the fact that most people had already stocked up on there grocery needs prior to the snow falling, I figured I would be in and out quickly. I quickly made my way through the store and was ready to check out. I had roughly 20 items in my cart and made my way to the front of the store.

There were only two lanes open, and the first one I came upon had a woman who had 2 carts full to the brim ready to start unloading. I obviously wasn't going to get in line behind her. The only other line had two large women who were in the midst of unpacking 2 large carts of their own. How in the world could I have timed this worse? I took so lice in the fact that they had already unpacked and scanned one cart, and the second was almost empty and up on the line. I figured that this was as good as it was going to get, so I settled in to the waiting process.

Now, let me clear up a few things before I continue. When I describe these two ladies as large, don't be confused. When I address someone as large, I put them on at least the same size scale as myself or bigger. And these ladies were bigger than I. They were also incredibly disproportionate in that they resembled Grimmace. This is only relevant because while the checker continued to scan their seemingly unending supply of foodstuffs from the cart, the two ladies were going on about how they wanted something to drink. So lady A went to get lady B a soda from a few lanes down. On her way back she decided that the candy bars that were displayed were to good to pass up and grabbed 6. She casually threw those on the line along with the two drinks she had grabbed. She also turned to her friend and grabbed a bag of sun chips off the rack and held them up and kinda cocked her head in that familiar "how about this?" move that is universal. Lady B then shrugged and nodded in that equally universal "Why the fuck not" move. By this time all their groceries had been loaded up on the line and there was enough room for me to begin unloading my own cart on the line.

Just as I finished putting the last of my items up on the line Lady A was staring at the total screen and looked a little frightened. She turned to Lady B and said something like "It's up to 200 already" and let out a nervous giggle. I began to have a small sinking feeling. As the cashier finally rang up the end of the 2 cart fiasco in waiting, she announced the total as $387.53. Both the ladies reacted as if there had to be some kind of miscalculation because they could only spend $300 and there must be a mistake. The cashier just stood there as stone faced as she could. I got the feeling this was a regular occurrence for her in her job. I attempted to be as casual as possible as I fumed internally at how idiotic this situation was.

The two ladies then began the almost 10 minute process of removing items from there now bagged groceries and having them removed from there bill. They started with two packages of high end ice cream snacks, followed by the 6 candy bars and chips that were added at the last minute. A few TV dinners and microwavable snacks were also given the boot, as well as a huge bag of "Catfish Nuggets" which looked to be just frozen squirrel meat that had freezer burn. And still that wasn't enough. There was still $20 pounds of fat to trim before this unending hell would cease to exist. Exasperated, the two continued to dig through there carts trying to figure out what they could "spare" to get to there total. FINALLY they took enough off to reach the new total of $300.73 and after lady A loudly exclaimed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME", Lady B stepped in and swiped her card and they quickly exited. The checker and bagger said nothing through all of this, but were visibly annoyed and relieved once they left. I quickly stepped up to line and proudly exclaimed "I'm paying for all of my stuff today!" The checker smiled and laughed and quickly rang me up and I was on my way.

I am sharing this story because it illustrates my point. I live a good life. I can spend money with relative ease, but I know my limits. I knew I couldn't go into the store and decide to buy all kinds of shit for close to $400 cause I couldn't afford it. If I was in a different situation and needed to count my pennies and squeeze the value out of every last cent, I would. I wouldn't blindly go to the store and just start filling my cart with whatever shit looks good, and then some more impulse shit on top of that.

It's not uncommon for me to see people at the grocery carrying around a calculator with them and there stacks of coupons writing down what looks like novels while they are shopping. And they are doing there part to stretch their money where they can. They are comparing prices, calculating how much they are spending, and deducting there coupons to there utmost value. They are not surprised when the cashier announces there total, as they already know what it is. If I was forced into that situation, I would be doing the same thing.

I know the value of the dollar. I just happen to value different things than most that those dollars can buy. But I will NEVER be in the position where I have to start taking off items from my already scanned items because I have overspent. Never.

And those two fucking bitches still got there cokes.

12 Down....122 to go...

Well well well blog. We meet again. I thought I had finally vanquished you from this mortal earth with that final karate leg sweep but you have come back at me with the devastating Crane Kick. It is so devastating and there is no defense for it. I am a balloon just awaiting your pin prick to blow me away. I bow to you in humble defeat and ask that you spare me and my fellow Cobra's further humiliation.

In setting this new movie goal for myself I hoped to extend my love of movies and passion for the new. In doing so I have to keep up a pace of 12 movies a month over the course of the year to hit my goal with ease. And on Jan. 31st I hit 12 by watching Step Brothers again. Still pretty funny btw.

Of the other 11, the one that rises above the rest is The Wrestler. I will admit I am a bit biased to this film as professional wrestling, specifically indie wrestling, carries a special place in my heart even if I rarely indulge that part of me anymore. I also am a big fan of the director, so I figured that this one would be right up my alley. And I will not lie to you dear blog, this movie was deeply affecting to me. There is no doubt that there are real people out there who embody the lead character. Wrestlers who either don't know any other way, or just can't hang up the boots and move on from life. They dismiss common sense and self preservation and continue to batter their bodies until they ultimately fail them. One scene in the middle of the movie in particular shows a convention center hall filled with wrestlers long since used up showcasing there wares for sale. As the camera pans around you see men who can no longer walk without the aide of a cane or wheelchair. One man has a cath bag attached to his leg. Our "hero" must wear a hearing aide, but hides this fact whenever he is in the ring or backstage, not wanting to show weakness to his fellow wrestlers. I know those guys exist today. The are going to continue down a path of pain and loss dreaming of their previous glory days in the squared circle.
Some reviews I had read for The Wrestler some how found some uplifting message or even a positive outcome from the ending. To which I say those people are either blind, retarded, or a mixture of both. Do not be misguided people. If you have seen any of the directors other works, you will not be surprised by this fact. But do not let this deter you from seeing this film. I am pulling for Mickey Rourke to win the Oscar for best actor. Admittedly I have not seen any of the other nominee's, but I don't care. This performance is truly amazing and worth the accolades it is receiving.
On the flip side of that coin, I saw one of the worst movies I have seen in recent memory. The movie "Basket Case" had been lauded to me by some close friends as a piece worthy of taking in. It was in my wheelhouse so to speak of bad horror movies, and I was intrigued by the premise of a deformed "brother" that used to be attached to the protagonist and now lives in a basket that he carries around and attacks people. And let me be clear before I get to far into this. I have seen some truly TERRIBLE movies in my time. I even give discounts to films such as this that were made long before the advent of modern special effects or technology that could stretch your production budget. But all that goes out the window the first time we are "treated" to the boy in the basket. Not only is it incredibly ridiculous looking even by the standards of the day, it's so rubbery and fake looking that when they move it around the sets it just kinda jiggles around an is about as menacing as well..er...something that's not very menacing. And it's not scary looking. And the movie is incredibly boring. Though it does contain one good line. "What's in the basket....Easter Eggs?" This is said without any proper pause or pacing, and without any indication that Easter is even approaching. And it's in a doctor's office waiting room. Though it does make sense to me. Because any basket that I see that I don't know whats in it, I automatically assume it's Easter Eggs. So at least they appealed to the logical side of me.
That's about all for the list so far. There was a comical moment while watching "Under Siege" where Adie recognized one of the actresses from her role on Full House. Of course she finally recognized her as she stripped off her top and jiggled her boobs around. Ad insists that that was independent of her recognition. I have my doubts.

Head of State

My biggest fear when Obama became president is that I would no longer enjoy Chris Rock's "Head of State."  If you haven't seen it, Chris Rock is an alderman from DC and he is picked to run so that he can lose the election.  Well I was concerned that this movie would no longer be funny if we actually had an African American President.  FEARS DISMISSED.  This movie is still awesome.

Blogger's Q Watchmen Update

Blogger Q here with the real scoop on the upcoming Watchmen movie.

Now if you pay attention to the Internet and Hollywood rags (as we Hollywood insiders refer to them as).  Then you are no doubt aware that there is a law suit between Warner Brother's (or as we insiders say WB) and Fox.  

The problem is that Fox claims that they have the rights to the book (which I understand is "graphic novel." I wouldn't know).   

WB made the movie and now Fox wants in on the action (that's what we (we being real Hollywood insiders) call profits).  

I have the real scoop.  The truth is WB didn't actually make a movie.  What they did was invent a trans-dimensional vortex portal.  This allows WB to to travel to other dimensions.  Well, they found out that the books author (Gore Vidal) is actually a psychic  who picked up on the vibrations of that dimension.  So, WB kidnapped the author and tuned their vortex to that dimension's frequency.   Then went through the vortex and found video tape from the era that they wanted and edited it together to make the movie.

At this point you are wondering why Fox would want this technology?  Well think about it. Let's say that Fox wanted to make a movie about a crazy land where the Nazis (that what we Hollywood insiders call the National Socialists party that took control of Germany during the 1930's and caused WWII) won WWII.  Well they could just go there and film.  Think of the money they would make, no writer or actors.  Even if it made 1,000 dollars it would make money.

Well that's all I can tell you for now.   More on this story as it develops. 

Q out. 

Best/Worst of 2008

VICTORY IS MINE.

In an attempt to explore one of my favorite forms of entertainment, I set a random number of movies for myself to see that year. I put no restriction on if I had seen the movie before. The previous year I had a goal of 100 and fell short. This year I added 20 to the tally and went to work. Early on in the year I fully anticipated to shatter the number, as I kept on pace through July and figured I could even increase my consumption as the year continued. Boy was I wrong. Coming into the last week of 2008, I was still 12 movies short. I knew that I had to go on a binge and just put my head down and do nothing for one whole day but watch movies.

In the future I will avoid this technique in completing my tasks. I ended up focusing on movies that I had readily available that where short in length. I ended up finishing movie 120 around 8:30 on New Year's Eve. In the previous 36 hours I had watched 12 movies and was ready for a break.

Onto the stats and the ever present best and worst movies of the year. As a rule, I only counted movies that I watched in 2008 regardless of if they came out in 2008 or not. You may notice a few on my list that technically came out in 2007, but that I watched early in the year that still made the list. Get over it if it bothers you.

Of the 120 movies:
20 were viewed in a theater
19 I had seen before
12000 minutes (average of 100 minutes per movie) or 200 hours spent watching movies

This doesn't count any TV shows that I watched. I watched the entire run of Sex and the City, Veronica Mars season 2, and various other current tv shows. I would say I watched AT LEAST the same amount of TV as movies, if not more. And I don't want to hear anything about it.

Top 10 of 2008

10. The Mist
9. Pineapple Express/Foot Fist Way *TIE*
8. Hatchet
7. Wall-E
6. Tropic Thunder
5. Iron Man
4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
3. The Dark Knight
2. No Country for Old Men
1. There Will be Blood

Worst of 2008

11. Doomsday
10. Because I said So
9. 27 Dresses
8. Superhero Movie
7. Hannibal Rising
6. Ghost Rider
5. Wanted
4. Meet the Spartans
3. Untracable
2. Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull bullshit
1. The Love Guru and House *TIE*

That's pretty much it. I didn't include any movies on these lists that I had seen before. My bottom 3 movies will go down as some of the worst I have ever seen. So kudo's for that.

For next year I have decided to add on 14 movies to my total, bringing it to a robust 134. That will add about 24 more hours to the experience. Feel free to comment on my lists if you so choose so we can engage in a hearty debate about why I am right and you are wrong.